The sweet brown curls of my grandson.

So like his father.

I breathe him in

Hold him close

I want to nurture him

Mentor him

Soothe his way into this world 

Make up for his loss

Fix it

Be both father 

And grandmother

But I’m broken

How can I

My love is deep 

But shattered 

He will never know the merry brown eyes

Of the father who loved him

Who left him

The easy laughter 

At silly puns

The giggling delight 

In love with the world

And dismayed by it

A boy too tender to thrive

In our world