I was looking for my old glasses and noticed a thumb drive tucked away in the basket. I plugged it in and a movie of Ben and Jacob on the sling ride in Orlando started. I guess they paid for the movie, it was made by the ride. They were happy, giggling, not a care in the world, acting brave for each other. Shouting “Love you Mom! Love you Aunt BeBe!”

The sound of his voice made the sobs start, then the screams. Knowing I’ll never hear it again is more than I can stand.

I had been doing good today. Not more than a few quick tears.

How can it hit so fresh over and over? So new and raw? Will it always do that?