Your support system If you’re like me, you’ve been completely surprised by where you find support. The people I expected to be most closely involved aren’t. And those I least expected to be involved, are. My older sister has been my best friend for a decade. We’ve written almost daily emails back and forth for […]

Mama and Daddy buried Miracle Kitty. She painted a beautiful board to mark her grave in the pet cemetery.  Their dog, Keeper curled up underneath the marker and rested. He’ll miss her as much as I do. They were best buddies.  Mama came over and said “Jeorgia is on her way over, she’s coming to […]

Today is four months exactly since you left me. I’ve never gone that long without seeing you. Not once in your life. I feel the panic well up. I can’t do this. I can do this. I can’t do this. I can… no, I can’t do this. I lost my job today. At 1pm. AT&T […]

If I was run over by a train and had every bone in my body broken, I wouldn’t be asked if I’m okay. You could look at me. The splints, casts, and traction and repeated surgeries would tell my story.  A parent who loses a child has every bone broken, every ligament snapped, and every […]

LordGodAmighty  I think the unthinkable I’m so ashamed But strengthened by the possibility.  My suffering might not be by choice, but continuing to endure it is.  I only have one question: Will I still go to Heaven?  My assumption from early religious training was probably like yours: “absolutely not, you’ll be dancing with the devil.” […]

The sweet brown curls of my grandson. So like his father. I breathe him in Hold him close I want to nurture him Mentor him Soothe his way into this world  Make up for his loss Fix it Be both father  And grandmother But I’m broken How can I My love is deep  But shattered  […]

I see your smile So near. So far. My mouth opens wide A silent scream  I curl as small as I can  In a corner My head feels better  Pressed against solid The world is unreal The wall is real It helps me  Not fall off the edge All that I pushed aside today  Crushes […]

The leap Endless night  Every night You’re out there Somewhere I balance on the ledge Looking for you  I teeter Every night Hoping I fall Into sweet peace My soul pleads Take the leap Scared eyes Draw me back From you From peace I suffer  For them But they don’t know How much My soul […]

I went to Home Depot today and then Olive Garden. I didn’t plan it so I wouldn’t back out and disappoint myself. I just got the urge and went. It’s better that way. Anything planned feels like pressure on me and I can’t bear pressure these days.  It was a good day. As good as […]

I had a conversation with Marciana today. We were sitting in the river, watching Beau play, and I finally had the courage to ask her to go through your last day in detail. It was harder than expected. I felt an unreasonable anger at her for letting you die. It wasn’t her fault at all, […]